


i'm never gonna let you go (even when it's easy)

by mindelan



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heavy Fluff, Light Angst, RebelCaptain Secret Santa 2019, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, they just love each other so much ok!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:35:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21975943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindelan/pseuds/mindelan
Summary: Cassian, Cassian, Cassian,Jyn's body sings, and shelistens.
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 20
Kudos: 136





	i'm never gonna let you go (even when it's easy)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mosylu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mosylu/gifts).



> happy holidays mosylu!!
> 
> the prompt you gave me was "If one more thing happens to delay Jyn Erso's wedding to Cassian Andor, she is going to cut a bitch." it's not exact, but the gist is there! hope you enjoy this fic, i had a really fun time working on it <3
> 
> title from “put your money on me” by arcade fire

“Y’know, I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Jyn grumbles, tugging her pack off of her tauntaun with a rather harsh pull, her movements colored with irritation. The wind whips around her face, snow obscuring her vision; she can barely make out Solo’s form a few feet away from her. “Why do I ever karking _listen_ to you?” 

“Because I’m handsome and charming and full of good ideas?” he replies cheekily, voice raised to nearly a shout to be heard over the elements roaring around them.

“What about all this – ” she throws out her arms to motion to the blizzard swirling around them and the lack of visibility needed to get back to Echo Base, “screams ‘a good idea?’” 

“Okay, maybe not my best one, all right?” Han amends, strapping his own supplies to his back and heading in the direction of the cave they’d stumbled across moments earlier. “But it’s not _my_ fault that you listened to me, Erso!” 

She flips him her middle finger to his retreating form to make herself feel better despite him not being able to see it. With a grunt, she grabs her stuff and slaps her tauntaun across the flank to send it running in the opposite direction. While she doesn’t know if it’ll survive any better out in the storm than she would, it has a much better chance of getting back than it would be trapped in a cave. 

Said cave is thankfully large enough to alleviate most of her claustrophobia; despite that particular blessing, she sets up close enough to the entrance where she can still see what’s happening outside. It’s colder here than it would be farther back where Solo’s sitting, but she’s not going to risk the brand of panic that comes alongside being trapped in a small space. She’s been left – _abandoned_ – in too many places like this to go willingly where she doesn’t want to. 

“You’re going to free your ass off up there!” Han hollers up to her, much to her chagrin. Jyn rolls her eyes and shoves her hands into her armpits to conserve warmth. He’ll come around – he can’t stand being by himself for too long. 

A few minutes later, Han comes wandering up to where she’s set up base. “Hope this dies down soon,” he comments, crossing his arms and glancing out the mouth of the cave wistfully. He dumps his pack off where she’s standing, starts unpacking the supplies. “Wouldn’t want you to miss your wedding.” 

Her heart clenches at the reminder, teeth grinding down against each other as she squeezes her jaw tightly. It’s not a big deal. She tells herself it isn’t a big deal even if she’s been anticipating this day ever since she’d proposed to him a few weeks ago. It isn’t a big deal, just that they’re both on base at the same time, which is a rarity these days. It isn’t a big deal, just that she’d gone on this damn scouting trip to ease some of her anxiety and _now they’re trapped somewhere on Hoth because of a kriffing blizzard – !_

“If we miss my wedding,” she says calmly, “then I’m going to gut you with my vibroblade and enjoy it.” 

Han holds his hands up in the air. “Woah, easy there, Erso! No need to get all kriffing _violent_ on me. You’re the one who wanted to clear her head, I only offered to come with you out of the kindness of my heart.” 

He’s right and she hates him for it. She’d felt too light-headed back on base, too cramped and enclosed. When Solo offered to take her along on one of his patrols, she jumped at the chance. It’s not. . .she doesn’t regret her engagement to Cassian. She wants to be his wife more than anything in the galaxy. But the anticipation of the event taking place later that night had been killing her – she couldn’t stand the waiting around, all antsy and anxious. Now though, she thinks dully as she looks out at the storm, she doubts it’ll even happen. All that anxiety for nothing. 

And to think that she hasn’t been able to see Cassian all day, either. Something about an old tradition where it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding; neither she nor Cassian bought much into that superstitious bantha shit, but Shara, Leia, and Bodh – her bridesmaids – had insisted upon it. She’d argued that if she didn’t get to see Cassian then she would make her own batch of bad luck but to no avail. The two had been separated early that morning, leaving Jyn to sulk by herself in the hangar bay. 

“Have you tried to radio?” she asks instead, a terrifying thought hitting her mind as abruptly as a train crash. Cassian wouldn’t think. . .would he?

Han rubs a gloved hand over his face, tugging down his scarf from his mouth in the process. “Tried a couple of times but couldn’t patch through a connection. You’re welcome to have your way with it, but I doubt anything will happen.” 

She will, in fact, have her way with it. Jyn stalks over to where the radio sits and plucks it from the ground. Pulling off her thick gloves with her teeth, she fiddles with it for a few minutes before her bare hands are stinging with the cold and she’s cursing at the lack of process. “Karking piece of – ” 

“Told you, Erso,” Han smirks. He’s been so decidedly unhelpful that she wants to clock him across the jaw; she reigns in her frustration, though, and gets to unpacking if only to quiet the terrible thoughts passing through her mind right now. 

Cassian knows her better than to assume, she tells herself as she unrolls her sleeping bag. He wouldn’t just automatically think the worst when they don’t return at an appropriate time. He wouldn’t think – _no_. She bites down on that thought and curls her hands into fists. He’s rational. He wouldn’t think anything of it. He’d see the blizzard and know what happened. Likely he’d be worried, but not for the reasons that she’s stressing over. If the radio doesn’t start working, then there’s nothing more she can do except wait until the storm blows over and run like hell back to Echo Base. 

* * *

At first, she thinks her eyes are playing tricks on her. Jyn’s been staring out in the snow for so long the white has become blurry, wavering in and out of her light of sight. But there’s no mistaking the way the storm eases up, especially not when Han makes a point to mention it, too. If they’re delusional, at least they’re sharing the hallucinations with each other; that’s got to mean something.

“Looks like it’s your lucky day, Erso,” Han whistles, peering outside the mouth of the cave with a hand shading his eyes. He shoves his hands into his pockets and rocks back on his heels, turning to her with a bright grin. “If we walk fast enough, we might make it back to base on time.” 

“Don’t get too excited, Solo,” she grumbles, using sarcasm to hide the anticipation in her voice. “Else I might start thinking that you want to be a part of the wedding.” 

By the way he’d puffed out his chest proudly when she’d asked if he’d liked to officiate, she knows that he is – even if he’ll never admit it to either of them. If there’s one thing Han likes doing, it’s bringing up how he’s the captain of his own damn ship – what better way to flaunt that by being able to legalize a wedding because of it?

She’s sure that he’s just as antsy as she is to get going for other reasons, as well. Reasons that happen to be a short princess with a sharp wit and a temper almost as short as his. Cassian hadn’t seen their arguing as flirting until she’d pointed it out to him one night in bed; despite that, it hadn’t stopped the way he grumbles underneath his breath every time Solo gets too close to her. 

(In her eyes, how could Han ever compete with Cassian?)

Once she gets her supplies packed up, she stands and stretches, shifting until both her knees and hips pop to relieve the pressure there. Sitting on the hard, icy ground for longer than a few minutes has taken a toll on her body; with the aches and pains of a lifetime of fighting, she finally has to admit that maybe she’s not as young as she used to be, not in her current condition. 

It’s been what, hours? The sky, though clearing up, is significantly blacker now than when they’d set out this morning. Once the sun sets, it’ll be too cold and dark to risk traveling on their own. 

“Come on,” she says to Solo, picking her bag up and swinging it over her back with a grunt. The energy she has now probably won’t last once she’s been trudging in knee-deep snow for ages. “Don’t know how long it’ll take without the tauntauns.” 

“Think they made it back all right?” he asks flippantly as they set off, his much longer legs having an easier time navigating the terrain than her. She’s got too much pride to step in his footsteps, needing to drag her body through the snow herself even if it feels as if her feet are made of lead. 

“You getting soft, Solo?” 

“So what if I am?” he asks in exasperation, throwing his hands up in the air. It might be the bitterly cold air, but she swears that she sees his cheeks redden despite his clear frustration. “Overheard the Princess saying she liked nice men. You think I’m hittin’ the mark?”

“You’re asking the wrong woman,” she grunts, straining with the effort of walking through the snow. With the amount of energy she’s currently expending, she’ll be passed out from overexertion by the time they actually arrive. “I’m about to get married.” 

“Yeah, well. You’re a girl. So. . .” 

“And?” 

“You’re absolutely no help, Erso,” he replies hotly. “I took time out of my extremely busy day to come with you on a patrol and this is the kind of respect I get?” 

In response, all Jyn does is roll her eyes and huff out a breath. She can’t keep up with Han’s constant banter when her mind is focused on another matter completely. With each step she takes, it feels as if the sky gets darker and darker. Had it been a mistake to leave the cave? Would they be able to make it back to base in time? She doesn’t consider herself a particularly anxious person, but she feels the thrums of anxiety pooling in her gut. What is Cassian thinking right now? Is he – is he thinking that. . .

Just as the possibility enters her mind, the bright lights of the hangar bay catch her gaze. It’s a beacon that cuts through the darkness of the evening sky. She sucks in a breath, turning her head towards Han. He looks almost as incredulous as she does, winding whipping the fur around his hood like a halo, eyes widening in disbelief.

“Damn,” he whistles lowly. “Guess we weren’t as far away from the base as we thought.” 

For a split second, she wants to explode in anger, to blame him, to throw her pack down and tackle him to the ground. All the stress in the past few hours could have been alleviated if she’d only pushed harder to keep going in the middle of the storm or ignored his warnings of how dangerous the weather could get. She should have done more to arrive back in time, she shouldn’t have gone out in the first place, she shouldn’t have. . .

“You okay, Erso?” Han asks after a beat of silence, shaking her out of her spiraling thoughts. “You hear me? We made it back in time for your wedding. That’s a good thing.” 

“I’m fine,” she replies automatically, barely even hearing his question. Her feet move of her own accord, thigh muscles burning. She has to get to base, has to find Cassian, has to reassure him. . .

“Hey, hey, wait up!” Before he even realizes it, she’s already a good distance away from him, eyes glued to the lights and letting them pull her in like a moth to a flame. The crunching of the snow beneath her begins to sound like words, thrumming in her ears like a name. _Cassian, Cassian, Cassian._

She hears him before she sees him, the sound of his familiar, accented voice the only thing she focuses on as she trudges into the hangar bay. She’s so tired – so kriffing _exhausted_ – but her head perks up when he comes into view, eyes widening in anticipation because she’s just so kriffing excited to see him after the ordeal she’s had. 

“I told you to come to find me if they hadn’t reported in an hour after they were supposed to,” he growls, the undertones sending shivers up and down her spine. When she turns the corner, she sees him towering over a shaking recruit; he’s fully in his protective “Commander Andor Mode,” which is a sharp contrast to the soft and sleepy Cass she’s gotten used to waking up to each and every morning. 

_Force,_ she’s lucky. 

“No, you thought you would stand around and hope that they’d come back before you had to actually _do_ something! For your sake, I hope that she’s. . .Jyn?” 

“Looks like you’re off the hook, kid,” she says to the recruit, making a shooing motion so she could focus her attention on her man. The soldier in question scrambles off, clearly relieved to no longer be in Cassian’s focus. “Hey there, soldier. Miss me?” 

_“Kriff,_ Jyn,” is all the warning she gets before he’s sweeping her off her feet, folding her in his embrace. She hooks her legs around his hips, holding him as tightly as he does to her. “When you didn’t come back. . .” 

She buries her face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in deeply. Before she’d met him, she hadn’t thought that home could be a person, but to her it is. When he told her “welcome home,” he’d meant it in more ways than one – the Rebellion and him – and has continuously proved that to her over and over since then. 

“I’m sorry.” She doesn’t apologize often, but she will to those she loves. “I hadn’t seen you all day and I had to get out. I couldn’t stand it anymore, but I didn’t know there was going to be a storm.”

Grunting softly, he sets her back down on her feet so he can look her in the eye when she speaks. “Don’t apologize,” he murmurs, tucking a loose piece of hair back behind her ear. “I don’t care that you went on patrol with Solo. I was worried that you’d been hurt when the storm hit and you hadn’t come back yet. When Bodhi came to me saying that he couldn’t find you, that’s when I panicked.” 

“Sorry for worrying you,” she amends, a soft smile on her face. In his shoes, she would be the exact same way; frantic, stressed, half-mad and sick to her stomach. “I was worried too, you know. That you might think. . .” she pauses, reaching out to grip the front of his jacket because she wants to be closer to him now that they’ve separated, toying with the zipper absently as she struggles to get the correct words out. “You know. That I had gotten cold feet or something. And left.” 

“Jyn, _no.”_ He reaches forward and cups her face between his gloved hands. Their breath, visible in the air, intermingles together. “I didn’t think that – I _wouldn’t_ think that. I _know_ you wouldn’t do that to me. The thought hadn’t entered my mind – what I was thinking about was your safety.” 

She trusts Cassian and knows that he trusts her as well; when he says that the thought had never crossed his mind, she believes him. There is, however, a persistent sense of doubt that won’t go away. It’s not like he would lie to her about a matter like this, but they are both aware of her past and how she used to act in situations like this. 

She frowns, chewing on her lower lip as she mulls over his words. “I wouldn’t blame you if you had,” she tries again. “Really. I get it. I don’t have the best track record for these kinds of things.” 

When she’d told him that she’s not used to people sticking around when things go bad, she’d meant it. She had also meant that _she_ never stuck around when it happened either. It’s always been easier to cut ties and run in order to protect her heart and she’s told Cassian this before time and time again. She _still_ gets scared. She’s even gone so far to pack up her clothes and belongings but had immediately put them back after realizing what she had done. 

“I don’t care about what you’ve done in the past,” he says gently, returning her back to the present. His calloused fingers brush gently over her cheekbones, which brings her a modicum of comfort. “You’ve never tried to leave me. I know that you wouldn’t, Jyn. Please believe me when I say that.” 

The earnestness in his voice, the plea for her to listen and understand and comprehend – she’s startled when she comes across the realization that she _does_ believe him. He really hadn’t thought the worst of her even when he had every right to do so; all of the stress and anxiety of the afternoon previous completely dissipates. “I. . .all right,” she says, a soft smile curling over her face as she looks up at him with utter adoration in her gaze. “I believe you.” 

“Good.” And then he’s returning that smile that’s appeared on her face – when he looks like that, so beautiful and loving and wonderful, she can’t help but lean forward and brush her lips against his – 

“I thought you two weren’t supposed to see each other until the wedding.” The familiar drawl comes from the opening of the hangar bay. It makes Jyn scowl, as now she’s been caught before she got to kiss her to-be husband. 

“Solo,” she says frostily, leaning back slightly but not extracting herself from Cassian’s grip. She stays within kissing distance. . .well, just in case. “Looks like you made it back in one piece.” 

“No thanks to you,” he gripes back, shaking off the snow that had gathered in the folds of his fabric. “Left me for dead out there.” 

_“You_ told me to go on ahead,” she replies back, slightly affronted at his attitude. “I was just being a good soldier and following orders!” 

“Surprising,” Cassian mutters, so she whacks him gently across the chest in response, mock-betrayed. 

“Thought I’d let you two lovers have a little alone time,” he says airily, waving away her perfectly valid point and hunting for some sort of praise instead. “You should be singing my praises right now, Erso.” 

She wants to bite out about how she doesn’t give a bantha shit about the stupid wedding traditions that their friends are forcing them to abide by, but Cassian places a hand on her shoulder and interrupts her before she can open her mouth and make her scathing retort. “We should get going, Jyn. Bodhi was worried. Besides, we should start getting ready.” 

At his words, she bobs her head in agreement. Though she loathes being separated from him for the second time today, it’ll only be for around an hour; judging by the darkness in the sky and the general quiet of the base, their small wedding in the cantina is likely being set up. 

“Thanks, Solo!” she calls over her shoulder as she heads toward their shared room, voice bright with false cheer. In contrast to her words, she shoots him a rude gesture behind her back, one that leaves Cassian sighing in exasperation and Han spluttering. 

“You’re terrible,” Cassian breathes once they round the corner. 

She grins up at him, baring her teeth in a way that makes her appear feral. “You love me anyway.” 

“I do,” he replies fondly, knocking her shoulder with his as they walk through the corridors. They’re not the most publicly affectionate couple, not with their respective backgrounds and current occupation, but their small touches and exchanged glances in a crowded mean more than making out in the mess hall. 

“Jyn!” As they walk through the last hallway that contains their room, Bodhi comes running up behind them, skidding to stop. He nearly slams into her back as she whirls around, slightly startled by the interruption and letting out a relieved breath when she sees it’s not a threat but her brother. “I was – when the storm hit, I was so worried about you. And Solo! I was worried about him, too. I thought you – you both – were dead.” 

“Not dead,” she tells him eloquently, reluctantly letting him pull her into a hug. There are very few people she lets touch her like this and two of them are standing next to her now – and there are even fewer people she apologizes to sincerely when necessary. Only to the people she loves. “I’m. . .I’m sorry I worried you.” 

“It’s okay,” he says when they pull back, a hesitant smile on his face that grows more confident when she quirks her lips as well. “I get why you – you needed to get out for a bit. Cassian does too, right?” When the other man nods his agreement, Bodhi continues talking. “I’m just glad you’re safe. I was so worried when no one could find you. I thought you had snuck away with Cassian or, or something.” 

Maybe she should have done that instead, but her reckless and impulsive nature had jumped at the idea Han had proposed about leaving base. “It all worked out in the end,” she says with a shrug, glancing at Cassian furtively to make sure that her words actually ring true. Another nod, smaller and more private than the one he’d given Bodhi seconds prior – they’re good. “We were just going to freshen up and then we could get going?” 

The shocked look on Bodhi’s face is almost comical. “What? No, we gotta – ” he reaches forward and grabs her hand, tugging her down the hallway toward her room. Cassian stays put, raising an amused eyebrow and smirking at her silent pleas for help. “I’m going to comm Leia and Shara and – Cass, I’ll tell Kaytoo that you need to get ready, too!” 

And with that, Jyn lets Bodhi maneuver her how he wants to, lets him put her palm on the scanner to let him into her room and lets him push her towards the bed. If her brother’s general demeanor is anything to go by, then she’s stressed them all out enough today with her excursion. Because of that, she’s willing to be a little more cooperative than usual, but there are still a few things that she will not budge on. 

“I’m not wearing that.” After all the effort they’ve put into planning her wedding, she hates to be difficult. . .but the dress Leia’s holding up isn’t a garment she would put on even under duress. 

“It’ll fit you,” Leia says as if that’s the issue here. “It hits the floor when I wear it so it might be a little short, but it’s perfect for a wedding.” 

“I don’t want to wear a dress,” she says firmly. “It doesn’t matter what I wear, especially since Cassian will be taking it off later.” 

Shara chuckles. “He’ll be doing more than that, trust me.” 

“Can’t wait for that,” Jyn replies slyly. “Really, we should just skip the ceremony and get on with the fucking–”

Bodhi slaps his hands over his ears as if that’ll remove the image she’s all put in their heads. Leia sighs, shifting her weight to her other foot, but there’s the tiniest bit of amusement sparkling in her eyes. 

“It _is_ your wedding,” Leia says reluctantly. “But you can’t get married wearing what you have on right now. You need something else, Jyn.” 

Jyn frowns, her forehead wrinkling in confusion as she takes in the clothes she has on – it’s nothing unusual, just a basic pair of dark fatigues with her usual grey scarf. It looks completely fine to her – _hell_ , she’d even done her best to wash out the stains! She doesn’t need to get dressed up for Cassian. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” 

“Don’t you want to wear something nicer?” 

“This _is_ nice! They’re my cleanest pair of fatigues!” 

Eager to be the peace-maker, Bodhi interrupts before Leia can respond. “What about a, a compromise?” 

Jyn’s eyebrows narrow. “What kind of compromise?” 

“Leia, you brought other, other clothes, right?” 

Leia carefully lays the dress she bought on the bed and grabs the bag Jyn had been eyeing nervously the entire conversation. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t want to wear the dress, but I had to try. How about this?” 

What she pulls out isn’t immediately recognizable at first, a small, white bundle of fabric that quickly unravels as Leia shakes it out. It’s a scarf, she soon realizes, and when she touches it, she notes it’s an expensive-feeling one at that. _Kriff._ Not to mention that it’s one of the softest things she’s ever touched in her life. 

It’s more white than she ever wants to wear, but she doubts that her entourage will let her leave the room without a fight if she chooses not to. And, she muses to herself while running her fingers over the material, it’s not the worst option she’s been presented with today. 

“All right,” she says, nodding her head slowly. Carefully, she takes off the scarf she’s currently wearing and replaces it with Leia’s, then holds her arms out for inspection. “What do think?” 

She looks at all of their faces for their reaction, but Bodhi’s is the most important to her. Out of everyone present, she considers her closest to him; it had taken her a while to come to an understanding about his past with Galen, but ever since she’d made peace with her father the two had been as close as siblings. She considers him her brother and knows he considers her a sister by everything except blood. 

“You look, look – ” he pauses, fidgeting with his hands. “I know you don’t like to be called beautiful, but.” 

“But you look beautiful,” Leia finishes, taking a step closer to Jyn to adjust the scarf slightly. “The white brightens up your face. If you ever want to wear more of it, you need only ask.” 

“I’ll leave the white to you, highness,” she replies wryly, ducking into the fresher so she can see her appearance for herself. 

She doesn’t look different – it’s just a scarf, it won’t create drastic changes to how she looks. But even she has to admit that the white is a nice touch to her usual dark green and black combination. Though her hair is in its usual bun, it’s much neater and cleaner with more of her face visible instead of hidden behind her fringe. Her eyeliner, too – it’s still dark and smoky, but reapplied instead of leftover from the day previous. 

She looks like Jyn Erso, recognizes the face in the mirror but likes the image that’s reflected back at her. She doesn’t look like the stereotypical bride that’s pictured in the holos or in magazines, but she looks damn well ready for her own wedding. 

A sharp knock at her door startles her slightly, the noise reminding her too much of war and bullets and gunfire and other things she’d like to forget. She barely manages to hide her flinch, clenching her jaw as she pokes her head out of the fresher and asks, “Who is it?” 

“It’s K-2SO,” says the droid behind the door. “I was told to come and retrieve you, Jyn Erso.” 

“I don’t need a kriffing escort,” she mutters, but opens the door anyway, craning her neck to meet his eyes. “Did Cassian tell you to come get me?” 

“I wanted to,” he tilts his head to the side, looking down at her. “I have some things I would like to say. Cassian did not want me to say them.” 

“Making your own choices now, are you?” 

“I have always been able to make my own choices. For example, I came here even though Cassian did not want me to. He wanted someone else to come get you in case I would try to convince you not to marry him. That’s what he said. He told me: ‘Do not try and convince Jyn not to marry me.’” 

Already looking forward to this conversation, Jyn rolls her eyes and turns to the others in her room. “Mind if I leave with target practice here?” 

Bodhi makes a shooing motion. “Go. And, and be good.” She’s not sure if he’s talking to her or Kay. Maybe both of them – _probably_ both. 

They set off, her quiet footsteps in sharp contrast to his clomping steps as they walk through the hallways. She’s used to walking silently, but anyone could hear the pair coming from a mile away. 

“I am not going to tell you not to marry Cassian,” Kay tells her. 

“Oh?” Now that’s a surprise. 

“I was going to,” he continues, “because now that you and Cassian are involved, the odds of him doing something reckless to save you have increased significantly. He is statistically more likely to get hurt or killed because of you.” 

That sours her stomach, putting her immediately on the defensive. “You know I would do anything for him,” she argues. “That I care for him more than anything else in this kriffing galaxy – “ 

Kay’s voice is almost. . .gentle? She’s never heard him speak in this manner before, especially not to her. “I know. I care about him the most, but you are second. We both have the same interest in mind.” 

“To keep Cassian alive and safe,” she finishes.

Kay nods, then pauses. Whirring, he adds, “That being said, I have some notes on how you can do better.” 

She groans, rubbing her forehead with the heel of her palm. “I knew it,” she grumbles. “I kriffing _knew_ it.” 

* * *

Chirrut and Baze wait for her outside of the cantina, the noise of the bar beyond the doors speaking of just how many people decided to show up for her impromptu wedding. It’s clearly one of those events that have turned into a morale-booster for the Rebellion – with rebels she doesn’t even know in attendance for drinks and dancing – but she doesn’t mind too much. The ceremony and party are more for their friends and everyone else; she and Cassian will have their own private ceremony later that’s just for the two of them. That, in her opinion, is the one that counts. 

She’s not nervous – her talk with Cassian an hour ago had alleviated most of her anxiety – but the anticipation of the moment is beginning to get to her. She rubs her moist palms on the front of her pants, looking to Chirrut and Baze to pull her out of her thoughts and ease some of her pre-wedding nerves. 

“Are you ready, little sister?” Baze’s rumbling voice immediately washes over her in a wave of comfort. 

“I want it to happen already,” she says impatiently. “I don’t understand why I have to wait out here.” 

“Patience is good for the soul,” Chirrut says cheerfully, hooking one of his arms through hers. “Thank you for indulging two old men with this tradition.” 

In the wake of Scarif and losing two men she considered to be father figures in such a short amount of time, Chirrut and Baze had been instrumental in helping her heal. They’re more than friends, they’re family. In the absence of Galen, she wouldn’t want anyone else to walk her down the aisle. 

“It looks like it’s time,” Chirrut says. 

Baze fondly knocks his shoulder against Chirrut’s shoulder, the perfect picture of marital bliss. “You can’t see anything, you old fool.” 

Even decades later, the two still smile at each other with the same affection when they’d first met; Jyn hopes that she and Cassian will have that kind of love in the future, too. 

(She thinks that they will.) 

Baze takes her other arm, patting her hand gently with one of his. “Are you ready?” he repeats, and this time she nods. Yes, she’s ready. No more anticipation or nerves, just a calm feeling that’s settled in the bottom of her stomach. 

The noise of the cantina hushes considerably when the three of them enter the room. Someone drunk shouts indistinguishably in the background until they’re abruptly silenced, likely with someone else’s hand slapped over their mouth. There are too many people here who she doesn’t know, so she focuses on those that she does. Chirrut and Baze at her side. Shara, Leia, and Bodhi standing in the front on the left, and Kes and Kay on the right. Han in the middle. 

And then there’s Cassian.

It’s cheesy and stupid and hopelessly romantic, but when she looks at him everyone else disappears. Cassian kriffing Andor, the man she’s fallen in love with. He, just like her, has freshened up a bit; he doesn’t look different, not to her, but _stars,_ if he isn’t the most beautiful man in the galaxy. 

He smiles at her and she smiles back. Before she knows it, she’s at the front and standing before him, taking his warm hands into her own. Absently, he strokes one of his thumbs over the back of her knuckles. She blinks up at him, chin tilting back slightly. Kriffing hell, she’s got it bad. 

(But she doesn’t mind one bit.)

“Hi,” she whispers. 

“Hi,” he whispers back. “I like your scarf.” 

“Thanks,” she tells him quietly. “It’s Leia’s.” 

“All right, listen!” Han’s voice cuts through the dim, not only shushing her and Cassian’s conversation but everyone else’s as well. “Let’s get this started. I’m sure we all want to get to the drinking, so I’ll keep it short.” 

“Han!” Leia hisses from her side, but Jyn just shakes her head. She doesn’t want a perfect wedding – she wants _this._ Surrounded by her friends and family, getting married to the man she loves. 

“We all know why we’re here, so I won’t get into that,” he continues. “So if there’s anyone who objects, speak now.” 

Cassian turns his head back to look at Kay, but the droid stays silent. Jyn’s lips quirk into a half-smile, meeting Kay’s gaze. When Cassian turns back to her, his forehead crinkles in pleasant confusion. 

_“I’ll tell you about it later,”_ she mouths to him. 

“Great!” Han claps his hands together, grinning at the silence that follows. “That makes my life a hell of a lot easier. We all know these two are meant for each other, yeah? Let’s cut to the chase. Jyn, do you have anything you’d like to say to Cassian?” 

She isn’t one to speak spontaneously. The speech she’d given to the Council before Scarif had been impassioned and in the heat of the moment. She has nothing prepared, nothing has been written up to say to him. Nervously, she chews her bottom lip, deciding to go forth and say something simple. After all, there’s never been a need for flowery prose between them – why start now? “I love you,” she tells him. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you’ll have me, that is.” 

“Cassian? Got any words for Jyn?” 

“I love you,” he repeats. “I’ll have you for as long as you’ll have me.” 

“You two are killing me with the sappy stuff here,” Han mutters, but there’s a softness to his face that she doesn’t normally see. She’s always known Han was a hopeless romantic, but now she has confirmation of that. “All right, you love each other. Glad we got that out of the way. Jyn Erso, do you take Cassian Andor to be your husband?” 

Commitment has always scared her. Commitment means more pain when the inevitable abandonment happens. This is how Jyn lives – she doesn’t commit herself to anyone and doesn’t get hurt. 

Up until now, at least. She’s still the same, guarded woman she’s always been, but is willing to open her heart up to him, is willing to try. “I do.” 

“Cassian Andor, do you take Jyn Erso to be your wife?” 

His voice is gruff when he says quietly, “I do.” 

Cassian tugs her forward gently, pulling her close until their noses brush, foreheads nearly touching. “Can I kiss you?” he murmurs. 

“Please,” she whispers back, closing the gap between them and meets his lips with hers. It’s a gentle kiss but not without passion. His hands span the width of her back and shoulders, dipping her slightly. In response, she curls her arms around his neck to hold on and weaves her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. Sparks of warmth erupt in her chest and she can’t help but grin into the kiss, breaking it with her laughter and utter joy. 

In response to their affectionate display, she can just barely hear hooting and cheering all around them; it’s dim compared to the blood thrumming in her ears, the sound of her heart pounding. 

_Cassian, Cassian, Cassian,_ her body sings, and she _listens._

* * *

She tugs him away from the celebration after a few hours, claiming that she wanted to ravish him too badly to stick around anymore. It’s not entirely true – she just wants some time alone with him – but it had been worth saying to see the blush spread across Cassian’s cheeks. (Besides, it’s not like it’s entirely _false,_ either.)

Once behind the privacy of their own space, she finally relaxes, her shoulders sagging and walls coming down as much as they can (not all the way, not yet, but with Cassian she sees them crumbling entirely). 

Draven had approved their request for a day off tomorrow. In the middle of the war, there’s no time for a proper honeymoon, but it’s enough for both of them to sleep in and bask in each other’s presence without worrying about the Empire or their active duties for a few hours. 

“Well,” she says slowly, drawing out the word. “Guess we’re married now.” 

His lips quirk. “You’re such a romantic, Jyn.” 

“Mhm,” she replies absently, taking a step closer to him and going up on her tip-toes. Again, she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls his head down so his lips meet hers. This time, however, the kiss is more passionate, more earnest. She presses her body to his, moaning into his mouth when he opens his lips. She wants more, wants to ravish him right here in the middle of the room, wants to feel him against her even more than he already is. 

The bed is right behind him and she presses him forward until it hits the back of the calves. Her other plans can wait. Now she really wants to – 

“I will let you ravish me in a minute,” he interrupts, holding up a hand and she swears his eyes darken as he speaks. “Just – I want to say something first – something that I didn’t want to say it in front of all those people.” 

“All right,” she says, but doesn’t move her hands off of his body. “I suppose I can spare a minute for my husband.” 

“Husband,” his voice is soft when he repeats the word, rolling it around in his mouth and speaking it with holy reverence. “I like when you call me that. I like how it sounds coming from your lips.” 

“Get used to it,” she says, leaning back in for another kiss because she’s greedy and selfish and can’t help herself. “You’re stuck with me now, husband.” 

He brushes his knuckles against her cheeks when they break apart, eyes fond. “I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my wife. I never thought someone like me would deserve love, let alone find it.” 

The same thought process applies to her. She’s done such horrible things, therefore does not deserve love. And while she hates that Cassian thinks this way – her Cassian, her rock, her savior – she has the rest of her life to convince him otherwise. 

“When I first saw you, you were fresh out of prison, feral and screaming curse words at anyone who would listen,” he continues, smiling at the memory. “I thought you were a problem I could deal with and then get rid of once you helped us find Saw. But then I couldn’t. I couldn’t just abandon you like everyone else” 

“You came back for me,” she says softly. “On Jedha. You saved me and you didn’t have to.” 

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind, Jyn Erso. I never could – kriff, I still can’t.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box, staring down at it with thoughtful eyes. “On Fest, married people exchange rings. I went back there a couple of weeks ago – ” 

“Wait,” she blinks, shaking her head slightly. She doesn’t remember this excursion. “You went back to Fest?” 

“With Kay,” he explains, looking slightly sheepish. He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand. “It was on the way back to base. I didn’t – not to where I used to live. That isn’t something that I’m ready for. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for it. But I wanted to get you this.” 

He places the box in her open hands, watching her expectantly as she tentatively opens it. Staring back at her is a simple silver ring. In the middle of the band sits a small, green stone that sparkles in the light, and a chain is looped through the middle so it can be worn as a necklace. Her eyes water the longer she looks at it, the breath being sucked out of her lungs. This is. . .

“I don’t remember much of my parents,” he admits softly, causing Jyn to glance up at him sharply when he says it. Cassian rarely speaks about his childhood; she’s only heard bits and pieces about his family, doesn’t even know most of their names. “But I know that my mother used to wear a ring like this one. The green matched her eyes.” He shakes the memory out of his head, looks back down at her with an indescribable emotion flashing over his face. “It matches yours, too.” 

Gingerly, she lifts the necklace out of the box by the chain, letting it pool in her hand so she can get a better look at the beauty of it. She can’t remember the last time someone had gotten her a gift such as thoughtful as this one. The connection between his past and his future. . _.kriff_. 

“I know you don’t like anything on your hands so I thought. . .” he trails off nervously, intently studying her expression. She can’t voice an answer, not when her throat feels so choked up. “Do you. . .if you don’t like it. . .” 

“Cassian, I – ” she swallows, holding it up. She’s never been good at speaking her emotions and now’s no exception – she doesn’t even know how to start. “Put it on for me?” 

His eyes soften. “Of course.” 

He takes the necklace from her hands and steps around her, shifting her loose hair off of her neck and clasping the chain. It falls just slightly above where her kyber crystal lays underneath her shirt, close to her heart. 

“Thank you,” she murmurs as she turns around to face him. “I don’t. . .” 

“You’re welcome,” he says with such warmth and sincerity that she knows that he knows what she’s trying to tell him.

“I have something for you, too,” she says, stepping away briefly so she can dig through her clothing drawers and find it. When she does, she clutches in her closed palm, sharp edges digging into her skin. “I wanted you to have a piece of me wherever you went, so I had this made for you.” 

She holds out her palm and opens it slowly, revealing what she’s hidden away for so long. It’s a kyber crystal necklace, smaller and thinner than her own but almost an exact replica. With her free hand, she reaches into her shirt and tugs out her necklace to show the changes she’s made to her crystal. Evidently, they both had the same idea; two people in their profession can’t wear obvious signs of marriage, so a necklace that could be hidden under clothes and taken off when necessary is the best gift possible. 

“I had a part of it cut off,” she explains, offering him his necklace with a nervous smile, resisting the urge to shove it at him and run. “I wanted you to have it.” 

Knowing how much her necklace means to her, Cassian looks at her with wide, confused eyes. “Jyn. . .?” 

“It’s for you,” she says quietly. It might be her imagination, but her crystal thrums as she says the following words. “Cass, I. . .I want you to have it. My mother’s gone, but I know she would have liked you. She would have approved.” 

“Jyn, this is. . .” his eyes grow misty as he reaches out to cover her hand with his own, staring down at their enclosed palms. “Thank you. This means more to me than you will ever know.” 

She leaps forward and sweeps him into a hug, clutching him tightly. “I love you,” she whispers, tears pooling in her eyes. This is the happiest she’s been in a long time, most loved she’s ever felt in her life. “I love you.” 

In response, he holds her tighter; in his arms, she feels safe. “Until the stars die, Jyn Erso,” he vows, “I will always love you. _Always.”_

Jyn’s not used to believing promises as intense as this one, but she knows deep in her heart that he means it. She does, too. Until the stars die – and long after that – she will keep loving him. 


End file.
